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I come to praise Modiji…

A NARRATIVE ON NARENDRA MODI’S ACHIEVEMENTS

Posted on 29/11/2022

Updated on 30/11/2022

Encountering some neologisms in the context of Indian politics, I, an ardent andh-bhakt of Modiji, have cut a sorry figure to understand the meaning of some lexical entries. I think that these words targeted towards our hon’ble PM are totally contentless. Hence, I asked one of my anti-Modi friends for enlightening me regarding such linguistic usages, especially the semantics of those terms.

When I asked him to do the same, he smiled and gave me a book entitled “A Dictionary of Idiocy: The Ultimate Guide to Curious, Shocking and General Ignorance” by Gustave Flaubert⤡ and suggested me to read a special note on Newspeak from the book “1984” by George Orwell⤡.

I was surprised, because according to my perception, he is an Urban Naxal, liberandu, anti-national and a member of the tukde tukde gang. How can such an anti-Indian, westernized Communist suggest a book by an anti-communist author, viz., George Orwell, to me?

Whatever it may be, I tried to read both the books and failed to understand the intention of the two authors. Why did they write such books?

I rang my friend and told him about my embarrassing outcome with the books. He then suggested me to watch two movies: one is Jean Luc Godard’s “Alphaville”⤡ and Francois Truffaut’s “Fahrenheit 451”⤡ (a science fiction by Ray Bradbury).

I complied with his suggestions and again failed miserably.

Compared to the classic Biopic of Sri Narendra Modiji and the Kashmir Files, the above movies made no sense to me.

Still unsatisfied, I invited him to my home for a tea-party with vegan snacks. He willingly accepted my invitation and came accordingly. I started conversing with my friend, Mr. Liberandu, and I said to him:

“Please keep aside all those books and movies that you suggested. Tell me please, the meaning of these lexical items like ‘Jumlebaaz’, ‘Feku’, ‘stupidest Prime Minister of the World’, ‘Covid spreader’, ‘Behri sarkar’ (deaf government), ‘baal buddhi’ (naive/childish intellect), ‘Tanashahi’ (autocrat/tyrant), ‘Snoopgate’⤡, ‘dohra charitra’ (involved in a fugue state or having a dissociative identity disorder, e.g., Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde), ‘nikamma’ (useless good for nothing, worthless idler), ‘nautanki’ (melodramatic), ‘dhindora peetna’ (beating one’s own drums) etc.?”

[Amit Shah and Modi the woman-stalkers were blatantly exposed by the Cobrapost in 2013. In 2019, the same Cobrapost revealed the DHFL Scam, the biggest financial scam in the country’s history, where the BJP was allegedly involved.]

Liberandu smiled and suggested me to search these words on the internet. The first word I searched for was “Feku”. The results came as follows:

When I opened the Samosapedia, I found a specified definition of “Feku”:

I was far too angry, since our messiah, the Kalki Avatar, the visvaguru (the preceptor of the world) Narendra Modiji is being branded in terms which have such disrespectful, demeaning connotations. An incumbent Hon’ble Prime Minister cannot be and should not be called names like this!

Our next search word was “Stupidest Prime Minister of the World”, the results for which are given as follows:

My adrenal glands exploded out of anger. My cerebral cortex averted the blood away from the gut and moved it towards the muscles; my pulse rate increased and my respiration intensified.

My friend’s crooked Draculian smiles made me even angrier.

He immediately Googled another lexeme, “Jumlebaaz”, the results followed:

Who are these conspirators, who made these nasty words so viral? Are they trying to simulate the minds of the Indian masses by maligning our (self-proclaimed) pradhan sevak (supreme servant of the people)?

Do I ever possess the right to dishonour the chair of our Hon’ble Prime Minister?

What is our IT Cell doing about such viral memes and posters, which are constantly decrying our Honourable PM?

My friend said: “As you might have noticed, your Modiji is also branded as “behra” or hearing impaired. It is part of the normalization process since each and every dictator is hearing impaired—they cannot hear the problems or crises faced by the masses. Our most lovable revolutionary Bhagat Singh cited the anarchist Auguste Vaillant during the Delhi Assembly Bomb explosion in 1929 and said that if the deaf rulers are to hear, the sound or explosion has to be very loud.”

I am habituated with high decibel sounds since I am a regular viewer of the Republic TV, which is, according to my friend, a mere “Godi Media” or “Modia” (these are also neologisms!), i.e., a blind propaganda machine of our rulers. Whosoever is supporting our beloved Prime Minister a.k.a. the Government are branded as “Godi Media” by journalist Ravish Kumar, who is popular among the liberandus.

Strange Enough! This portmanteau word “liberandu” represents two terms: “liberal” and “gandu” (an arsehole).

My friend continued: “A Government that is identified with a single proper name ‘Modi’ is dangerous for the survival of the democratic republic. Moreover, they have banned the following list of words as ‘unparliamentary’ for silencing the dissenter’s voices. This type of censorship threatens the liberty of the citizens of India, who have already started self-censorship.”

According to him, India, a wounded civilization⤡, is at stake. The Freedom of Speech and Expression, as mentioned in Article 19 of the Constitution of India, is also jeopardized. An Andhbhakt (blind supporter of the BJP) or a Gandhbhakt (A supporter of BJP with obnoxious smell) cannot perceive this catastrophic situation due to schizophrenic foreclosure. By the by, these two terms are used by a learned colleague of the Modi’s party, BJP. He is none other than Subramanian Swamy. View his self-critical discourse.



Andhbhakts and Gandhbhakts are so frightened by a simple question from me on Twitter that: Did Modi deliver his speech at G7 &whether anyone has a copy which I would like read. I find besides India, other invited were Australia, South Africa and South Korea who also spoke. Spin? — Subramanian Swamy (@Swamy39) June 14, 2021

Our progeny would suffer for such oligarchical governmentality. If you do not protest, you will be extinguished in the asphyxiating carceral society.

I aggressively stated: “All the people of India want Modi! Who are you to utter all this nonsense? Why are you using such abusive and non-parliamentary words?”

He calmly responded: “You must be proud of Modiji as your dearest leader, who, addressing BJP workers in Telangana, said that he receives two-three kilos of ‘gaali’ (abusive words) everyday but his physical constitution metamorphoses those abusive words into “nutrition”. Some people, due to desperation, fear, and superstition will use abuses for him. So he requested his followers not to go astray with these tactics.”



कुछ लोग निराशा और हताशा के कारण, सुबह-शाम मोदी को गालियां देते रहते हैं। लेकिन इससे परेशान होने की जरूरत नहीं है। उन गालियों को चाय पर हंसी-मजाक कीजिए। दूसरे दिन कमल खिलने वाला है, इस खुशी में आगे बढ़िए। क्योंकि उनके पास गालियां देने के सिवाय कुछ बचा ही नहीं है। – पीएम मोदी pic.twitter.com/bX45UZokLp — BJP (@BJP4India) November 12, 2022

He calmly responded: “Please supplement the word nonsense with the word newsance as used by Newslaundry, a non-Godi Media, in the context of the Modi-crazy. First-past-the-post-system of voting proves nothing as the minority wins by getting 36% votes. I have strong objection against the use of the universal quantifier “all”.

You can feel the pulse of the people if you descend to the grassroots to smell the earth filled with the blood and sweat of the toiling, hungry masses.

For a litmus test, you can see the ratings and reviews of his biopic, a box office super-flop. ”

I angrily answered, “Then what are you doing as a kalambaaj armchair activist, a hypocrite parasite?”

— “Thanks for your complement and complaint as well. Modiji, the Narcissistic megalomaniac (as a fashion model, he is dancing on the ramps of the Great Indian Theatre, with at least four attires a day, always followed by his paparazzi! The only difference from a fashion model is that model girls are suffering from anorexia nervosa and anorexia bulimia, while Modiji is suffering from intellectual anorexia as he cannot speak without teleprompters!) will appreciate you. He has already noticed our existence as kalambaaj. He is scared of us as he commented:

Naxals ‘with guns or pens’ need to be uprooted, says PM Modi VIEW HERE (As reported on 28th October, 2022 ©Deccan Herald)

Perhaps, he has gone through “Talks at The Yenan Forum On Literature and Art” by Mao Ze Dong⤡, which was once taught in the Jadavpur University, Kolkata, as part of its Comparative Literature syllabus:

“In our struggle for the liberation of the Chinese people there are various fronts, among which there are the fronts of the pen and of the gun, the cultural and the military fronts. To defeat the enemy we must rely primarily on the army with guns. But this army alone is not enough; we must also have a cultural army, which is absolutely indispensable for uniting our own ranks and defeating the enemy.”

I was trembling. I shouted at the top of my voice: “So– you are a bloody Maoist!”

“No”, he said, “do not put me inside a presupposed bin or fashion me in terms of a predefined straightjacket. What is noticeable here, that the difference between the “gun front” and “pen front” is mentioned by both Mao and Modi, though in different connotations. I, as a non-partisan political activist, a believer in partyless society, do not believe in violent takeover of the Crown since I know that power continues, but knowledge disrupts. I am now offering you the two report-cards of Modiji’s performance”:





I, as a host, lost my temper at that point. I directly put an imperative on him saying that he should get out of my house immediately. I would not have entertained him if I knew earlier that he came here to bury Modi, not to praise him…

To my impulsive outburst, he simply replied: “Burying a Hindu? Really? Hahaha!”

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